Extended Response [0990/12, Nov 2021]

 

Text C: Moving on upwards

 

This text is taken from a longer narrative. At this point in the story, the narrator is taking part in a bicycle ride uphill for his fiftieth birthday celebration.

 

Their car rounds the bend ahead, Sonny’s phone screen winking at me from the window.

 

Time for another gulp of water. My bottle crackles as I squeeze it and a thick stream

 

shoots into my mouth. Too much. The excess liquid splatters fatly on the greedy asphalt,

 

and I realise it may be the one crucial drop I will be crying out for on my final kilometres

 

to the summit.

5

This novel adventure was a gift to myself. I’d reached the big 5-0. More a milestone

 

than a birthday. Inviting the family around for cake and crisps wasn’t going to be enough.

 

No, what I needed was a challenge to prove that what my teenage son, Sonny, called

 

my ‘sinking into old age’ did not have to match a decline in physical fitness. My friend

 

Rob, agreed to come along with me – in the comfort of his car.

10

So here they are, Rob at the wheel and Sonny, who has brought along his mobile phone,

 

so that he can capture the whole event. His job is to make an ‘official birthday video’

 

(with soundtrack) on his computer when we get home. This, I am assured, will provide

 

much family entertainment in years to come. ‘After all, Dad, you’re really brave wearing

 

lycra at your age,’ he had informed me.

15

I hear the car change gear ahead of me. As if I need reminding that things are going

 

to get steeper.

 

Though I am keeping to the outside of the bend, I feel the tension in my thighs increasing

 

in a matter of metres. Ahead lies the notorious forest where many a dismayed cyclist

 

is forced to dismount after kilometres of hard labour.

20

The car has slowed down and is back alongside, Sonny capturing every second of my

 

first metres through the forest in glorious close-up. I can see the print-out of the ‘gradients

 

per kilometre’ stuck to the folding table in front of him. I can see my own contorted

 

expression, looking out, gargoyle-like, over the bike handlebars, forming part of that

 

‘family entertainment’.

25

‘Dad, this is the forest, right?’

 

I nod and pant.

 

‘It’ll soon be ten per cent gradient, Dad.’

 

I change my gear, and my legs heave a sigh of relief. Six kilometres are behind me,

 

and another fifteen to go, but I must have something in reserve.

30

 

The steep road ahead meanders lazily through the trees. Not a kindly flat section in sight, only the mocking gravelly promise of worse to come. Unforgiving gradient for as far as the eye can see and wisps of warm exhaust fumes tickling my nostrils.




Question


Question 3

You are Sonny. Your father and the rest of the family have watched the video you made to record his fiftieth birthday bicycle ride. After the family have watched the video, you write your journal entry in which you:

•        describe your father’s plans and preparations for his birthday and how you felt about them

•        explain the hardships and challenges your father faced on the journey up the hill and your thoughts as you watched him cycling

•        describe your father’s reactions as he watched the finished birthday video of the whole ride.

Write the words of the journal entry.

Base your journal entry on what you have read in Text C, but be careful to use your own words. Address each of the three bullets.

Write about 250 to 350 words.

Up to 15 marks are available for the content of your answer and up to 10 marks for the quality of your writing.


Suggested Answers


3               A1: plans and preparations for his birthday and how Sonny felt about them

•          (planned an) adventure (det. 21 kilometres bike ride, Dad’s gift to himself, 50th) [dev. felt he was getting old and needed to prove he could still ride / offended by comment about his age]

 

•          digging out the bicycle (det. dusty old machine, boneshaker) [dev. been in the shed for a long time / looked dangerous]

•          repairs to bike (det. oil and grease, new chain) [dev. should have got it checked out professionally]

•          practised outside house (det. sailing along on flat road) [dev. showing off / inadequate training for cycling up a

hill / false sense of capabilities]

 

•          support arranged (det. asked Rob to accompany him) [dev. Rob not fit enough (or keen) to cycle himself / car (might be) useful (in emergency) / not much help to drive alongside]

 

•          (at first) felt Dad’s plan was hilarious / entertaining (det. making ‘official birthday video’) [dev. wants to keep evidence / didn’t think Dad would do it / plans to make the soundtrack amusing]

 

A2: hardships and challenges Dad faced on the journey and Sonny’s thoughts as he watched Dad cycling

 

•          fitness / physical strength required: (det. tension in thighs, perspiration) [dev. needed to work more on personal fitness beforehand / might have taken on too much / could see effort in his face ]

•          drinking water: (det. drinking from a water bottle) [dev. extreme thirst / have to ration water / run(s) low on water / unsuitable bottle]

•          difficult terrain: (det. 10% gradient, notorious forest climb, gravelly) [dev. even the car is struggling to get up the hill / concerned Dad is struggling with the climb]

 

•          controlling breathing: (det. panting, exhaust fumes irritate nostrils) [dev. needed mental strength to succeed / worried Dad might need (medical) help]

 

•          brave to wear that clothing / embarrassment (det. lycra) [dev. too old to wear lycra / Dad wanted to look the part]

•          pride / admiration (det. ‘Come on, Dad. You can do it.’) [dev. wanted him to succeed / impressed with how focused he was / new lease of life after 50 / trying to make him feel better]

 

A3: Dad’s reactions to finished video of the whole ride

 

•          sense of achievement (det. 6 km before he struggled) [dev. completed all (or large part of) the climb]

 

•          inspired to buy a new bike / decides to get it repaired properly (det. bike was jolting a bit) [dev. might have been easier with a better bike / realises bike has seen better days / getting better equipment]

 

•          more challenging / different bike ride (det. not 21 kilometres) [dev. encouraged by Sonny’s changed reaction / wants to improve his cycling]



•  relives the experience / remembers the pain (det. tension in thighs,

jelly legs, unforgiving gradient) [dev. never again / offers his (own)

commentary to video]


•   amused / annoyed (det. gargoyle-like) [dev. unflattering close ups /

teasing him / Dad’s embarrassment]


 •   disappointment (det. acknowledged defeat / needed to rest) [dev. did

not want to watch / thought he would find it easier / thought he would

look better / consoled by thought that many other cyclists give up /

wished he had made it to the top / falls off]

 

 

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